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It has been a minute since I have written and reflected in a way that is necessary for true growth and evolution. I will start now, on the eve of my 33rd birthday.

Yup, I am 33. I made it. I am living.

I want to reflect on my title for a minute and talk to you about what it means to be 3 years rehabilitated in my thinking and feeling and in turn my physical well being.

On my 30th birthday, I asked myself this one question that I had heard another human ask himself..."What am I doing with my life?"

I was always surviving and surviving on someone else's terms. Every step of my life has been on someone else's terms, that was until I decided that on my 30th birthday I would gift myself a gift. My gift of life. I gave myself my own project of self through my non-profit called Project Human Inc., called the Rebirth and it is my own story of my journey up to that point.

If you would have told me 3 years ago that I had to be patient zero in this human project of evolution and self and I had to work in order for that gift of life to work. That I had to live in order for life to live and work. That the only way this gift I have given myself will succeed is if the human itself succeeds, I would have said you were right because I believed in every human including me. I believed I could change my own narrative of life by changing the way I thought and felt. I EXPRESSED in a form of a sketch and that was the idea of PHInc., A new way to think. Well, that part came a bit later and after some help from the greatest human and partner I have, my husband.

I knew I was greater than what I thought or felt at the time but fear was rooted so deeply.

I also want to point out that rehabilitation is not a bad word even though we may associate it to negative actions and rehabilitation being the consequence.

Rehabilitation simply means restoration. Look up the word and every definition almost begins with the restoration of something. I wanted to restore my mind, body and soul. I wanted to connect to the roots of me.

Restore to what? Rehabilitate to what? I had no conscious awareness of what it meant to be happy and live because I had never had that. Or so I thought.